20 Signs To Watch Out For Before Getting Married

20 Signs To Watch Out For Before Getting Married

Marriage is the sacred union between a mature man and a mature woman, a concept rooted in biblical principles and emphasizing the commitment and maturity required for this foundational relationship. There are essential aspects to consider as a guide before entering into this institution. From spiritual and emotional maturity to financial stability, values alignment, and effective communication etc. This compilation aims to provide insights into the foundational elements for a successful and enduring marital union. Whether it’s resolving conflicts, understanding one’s life purpose, or ensuring compatibility in various aspects of life, these considerations are crucial for building a strong foundation and navigating the complexities of married life. If marriage is a school, it is then necessary to be educated about it.

Genesis 2 vs 24, Ephesians 5 vs 22-33, 1 Corinthians 7 vs 1-16, Amos 3vs3, Proverbs 18 vs 22.,

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The following are things to put into consideration before going into marriage.

1. Spiritual Maturity

Having a life that submits to the supremacy of God and then growing in wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of God is essential before entering into marriage. A partner who is not devoted to God, beyond just being religious, may struggle to be dedicated to the spouse in marriage. Spiritual maturity also empowers individuals to overcome challenges in marriage. Without being spiritually grounded, weaknesses can be exploited by negative influences, potentially causing harm to a strong family.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV): Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. This verse emphasizes the importance of submitting to God, seeking wisdom, and relying on Him, qualities essential for spiritual maturity.

Colossians 2:6-7 (NIV): So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

2. Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity, often referred to as emotional intelligence, is crucial for handling challenges, mistakes, errors, and disagreements in relationships. Building this aspect of our nature is essential since we all have different and unique temperaments.

Here are two Bible references aligning with the importance of Emotional Maturity in handling challenges and disagreements in relationships:

Proverbs 14:29 (NIV): Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. This verse highlights the value of patience and understanding, key components of emotional maturity, especially in navigating challenges within relationships.

Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV): Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians emphasizes qualities such as humility, patience, and love, reflecting the importance of emotional maturity in maintaining unity and peace within relationships.

3. Financial Maturity

It’s essential to achieve financial stability before marriage. Whether you have a surplus or not, financial stability is crucial for sustaining, managing, and caring for your home. Understanding your financial capacity and being wise with it fosters growth. Marriage involves expenses and financial management, so setting financial goals and ensuring compatibility is important. Discuss and agree on financial decisions and habits. Couples or those planning to get engaged should be aware of their financial situation and make future plans to prevent financial problems.

Proverbs 21:20 (NIV): The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down. This proverb speaks to the importance of wise financial planning, indicating that those who plan and store wisely experience stability and abundance.

Luke 14:28-30 (NIV): Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish. This passage encourages thoughtful planning and consideration of resources, illustrating the importance of financial foresight before undertaking significant commitments, much like the financial considerations before entering into marriage.

Genesis 1:28 (NIV): God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.

4. Values and Goals Compatibility

In a lasting marriage, sharing common life objectives and core values is crucial. It’s a sign to look for before marriage. Both partners should embrace positive values and objectives, seeing life optimistically and having a partner with a similar mindset.

Amos 3:3 (NIV): Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?. This verse highlights the necessity of agreement and unity, emphasizing the importance of shared values and goals for a harmonious journey together.

Philippians 2:2-3 (NIV): Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. This passage encourages like-mindedness, unity, and humility, aligning with the idea that shared positive values and objectives contribute to the joy and success of a marital partnership.

5. Purpose Discovery

Discovering your life’s purpose before marriage is essential. Understanding who you are, your unique mission, your current position, the reasons for being there, and where you’re headed is important.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. This verse reassures believers that God has a purpose and plan for each individual, highlighting the importance of seeking and understanding one’s unique mission before entering into significant commitments.

Proverbs 19:21 (NIV): Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs reminds us of the sovereignty of God’s purpose, emphasizing the importance of aligning personal goals and life’s purpose with God’s overarching plan before embarking on significant life choices, including marriage.

6. Effective Communication

Effective communication is key to unity in marriage. Open, honest, and respectful communication is vital for conflict resolution and maintaining a strong connection. Building the skill of effective communication is crucial before marriage.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV): Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. This verse underscores the significance of speaking in ways that build up and benefit others, promoting the idea of positive and constructive communication essential for maintaining a strong connection in marriage.

Proverbs 15:1 (NIV): A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs highlights the power of gentle and wise communication in diffusing conflicts, emphasizing the role of words in maintaining unity and peace within relationships, including marriage.

7. Personal Development and Positive Influence

Recognize that no one can possess all the qualities you envision in your ideal partner. Both partners should be committed to personal development and helping each other become better versions of themselves. Embrace self-improvement and respect each other’s unique qualities and interests.

Proverbs 27:17 (NIV): As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. This Bible verse emphasizes the positive influence and mutual growth that can occur when individuals, including partners, are committed to helping each other develop and improve.

Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV): Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

8. Conflict Resolution Skills

Misunderstandings are inevitable in any relationship. Both partners need to develop the ability to resolve conflicts constructively. Learning to forgive and allowing love to overcome offenses is essential.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV): Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV): Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

9. Supportive Families

Unhealthy family dynamics can affect individuals who have not fully developed themselves. Transforming your mindset and breaking free from the impact of a challenging upbringing is necessary. Healthy relationships with parents and families can alleviate potential tensions. Ensure you marry from a peaceful home and work together to create a peaceful home of your own.

Ephesians 2:22 (NIV): And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV): Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

10. Learn to Manage Failure

Failure is an inherent part of life, and it’s essential to understand how to overcome past failures and mistakes. This knowledge is critical for building a healthy life, attracting a compatible partner, and raising a godly family.

Proverbs 24:16 (NIV): For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes. This verse encourages resilience and persistence in the face of failures, emphasizing that the righteous, despite falling, will rise again.

Romans 8:28 (NIV): And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans speak to the idea that even in our failures, God can work for our good, emphasizing the importance of trusting in God’s plan despite setbacks.

11. Resolve Past Relationship Issues

Ensure that any unresolved issues from past relationships are addressed to prevent potential negative impacts on your marriage. If you’re carrying unresolved issues into your future marriage with the same person, it’s crucial to deal with them before tying the knot.

Here are two scriptures aligning with the theme of Resolving Past Relationship Issues:

Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV): Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

This passage emphasizes the importance of reconciliation before worship, suggesting the need to address issues with others before making offerings to God. Same thing is applicable to marriage.

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV): Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

 Ephesians encourage forgiveness and kindness in relationships, underlining the importance of dealing with past issues to maintain a healthy and loving connection.

12. Learn About Sex and Romance

Understanding sexual compatibility is vital. We are created with mortal bodies, and the concepts of sex and emotions are designed by God. It’s important to approach this aspect of life with the right mindset, seeking knowledge on how to navigate it effectively. Consider reading books, attending seminars with experts, or consulting a sex therapist if necessary. Maintaining physical health is also beneficial.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NIV): “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Proverbs 5:18-19 (NIV): May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

13. Prioritize Your Health

Taking care of your body is fundamental, as it’s one of the core components of your being. A healthy body contributes to the well-being of your soul and spirit. Make self-care and maintaining good health a part of your lifestyle.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV): Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.

3 John 1:2 (NIV): Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.

14. Consensus on Children and Parenting

Discuss your plans for having children and your parenting styles. Solid communication about these topics is essential since the family is the cornerstone of society. Be prepared to compromise and meet in the middle when making decisions related to children and parenting.

Psalm 127:3 (NIV): Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. This Bible verse acknowledges the significance of children as a gift from God, emphasizing the need for thoughtful consideration and consensus in decisions related to having and raising children.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV): Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it. Proverbs encodes the importance of intentional parenting, suggesting the need for alignment in parenting styles to guide children on a path that reflects shared values and beliefs.

15. Religious and Cultural Compatibility

Ensure that your beliefs, faith, and worship align with your partner’s. Compatibility in religious and spiritual beliefs is crucial to maintaining a harmonious marriage.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV): Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Amos 3:3 (NIV): “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?

16. Understand the Long-term Commitment

Marriage is a lifelong partnership that requires prioritizing quality time to build and sustain the relationship. Selfishness should be replaced with a sacrificial attitude to ensure a successful and enduring marriage.

Mark 10:9 (NIV): Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

Ephesians 5:25 (NIV): Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

17. Seek Pre-Marital Counseling and Discussions

Professional guidance and open discussions about important topics are essential before embarking on any relationship or marriage. Honesty and transparency are critical for a healthy foundation.

Proverbs 15:22 (NIV): Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.

Proverbs 24:6 (NIV): Surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers.

Proverbs 11:14 (NIV): Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.

18. Handling Extended Family Dynamics

Understanding and navigating relationships with extended family members requires divine wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Seek spiritual guidance through prayer, study of religious texts, and personal growth.

James 1:5 (NIV): If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James encourages believers to seek wisdom from God, highlighting the idea that divine guidance is available for those who seek it, especially in navigating relationships with extended family members.

Romans 12:10 (NIV): Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

1 Peter 3:8 (NIV): Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

19. Adapt to Changes

Adaptability is vital in the face of life’s unpredictability. Developing a strong relationship with the Holy Spirit is essential to help you navigate different seasons and circumstances. 

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

John 14:26 (NIV): But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

20. Show respect to your partner

Most importantly, respect and honor your partner. Avoid using your ego or success to control your partner; instead, respect each other’s bodies, opinions, and judgments. If you struggle with this, seek guidance from God and trusted individuals to maintain a harmonious family.

Ephesians 5:33 (NIV): “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Peter 3:7 (NIV): Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.