How To End Up A Christian Relationship Peacefully
A Christian relationship is a relationship involving two people who are children of God. By being children of God we mean two people who are not just Christians but people who love, obey and do the will of God. Now, for some reasons a relationship between a Christian brother and sister may come to an end for different reasons such as lack of parental consent, lack of trust, background issues and so on. It is not a bad thing for a relationship to come to an end but how it comes to an end matters. As people who are children of God and have been instructed to follow peace with all men, we must ensure that we bring the relationship to an end peacefully with hurting the other person further. How do we do this? Let us consider the following ways to end up a Christian relationship peacefully
How to end up a Christian relationship peacefully
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Sometimes, ending a relationship may be tough especially when the reasons are external such as parental consent and background issues. This means that by our own standard, we are very okay with the person but for these external reasons we cannot continue with the relationship. This decision can be painful and very hurting buy for the circumstances surrounding the relationship, we may not have a choice than to end it. Ending a relationship like this peacefully requires that we pray. We must pray to seek God for grace to end it without a fight and without issues. It also becomes easy to end such relationship when the two people are children of God who have learnt to seek God in prayer And can seek him for comfort and succour. You ask the Lord on prayers for wisdom and for understanding on how to say the words and understanding on how to go about it. This is one way to end a rey peacefully.
2) Allow God to Help You:
It is not all battles we can fight for ourselves. There are some relationships that requires the help of God for it to end peacefully else our lives will be in danger. To end this relationship peacefully will mean that God himself has to help you end the relationship himself. You may find out that the relationship will just die a natural death without any input from you. The other person loses interest and you also lose interest and the relationship dies. Nobody is angry, nobody is pained and nobody is hurt.
3) Helping the other person understand your reasons with love:
As a Christian, ending a relationship requires that you are sincere and open. Let the other person know your reason. Do not hide anything from the other person. You must let them know why you no longer want the relationship and you must do so in love. You explain your reasons. You give them room to us all understand what you mean. Don’t send others like your mom or siblings to them. Talk to them yourself and let them know that you do not mean bad but good for them. Let them know your real reason. Don’t let it be for selfish reasons. Make sure your reasons are honest and cogent. Leave with a clear conscience and with love from your heart.
4) Seek the support of your counsellors, pastors or parents if the issue is beyond you:
There are some relationships that you cannot honestly end peacefully on your own. You need the support of your Pastor, counsellor or parents to guide you. In fact, you may need their presence when you and your partner are ready to talk. You must also ensure that the people are people that your partner knows and respects. People that he can listen to. If the circumstances leading to your decision to end the relationship is something critical, you should seek the support of this older people to ensure it goes on peacefully without any problem.
5) Do not point accusing fingers or play the blame game
What has happened has happened. Don’t continue to point accusing gingers. Don’t also play the game blame. Learn your lessons, take your decision, explain to them in love without blaming them for everything. If possible, you can share the blame with them to make them feel comfortable even when you are not at fault in any way. This will keep their mind at rest and help them know that you do not fault or judge them at all. This will help them clearly able to see their faults and even feel more remorseful without you judging or criticizing them and they can agree to end the relationship on the basis that they did very badly.
6) Do it respectfully:
No matter how badly the other person did to warrant ending the relationship, you must still do it respectfully, void of insults and void of offenses. Make your points known without choosing to further hurt the person. Be clear and firm about your decision but do so with utmost respect for the other person. This is not the time to begin to rain curses or insults on them or their family. Treat the issue for the breakup as strictly between the both of you without directly or indirectly insulting them or their family.
7) Don’t shut them out of your life forever:
That a relationship ends should not make us arch enemies no what the other person did. We can even remain friends but this depends on how we end the relationship. When we peacefully end a relationship, we give room for healing and friendship between the two people. We should also not shut the other person out of our lives. We can still open room for communication once in a while but we must make our boundaries known and be clear about them. A relationship may end but friendship doesn’t have to end because at one point or the other in our lives, we may be needing their help in future.
8) Do not go around spreading their mistakes:
At least until the relationship has been brought to an end by the both of you, do not go about reporting or talking about it to everyone, everywhere. Let them hear it first from you. Give them the privilege of hearing their mistakes first from you. Don’t go about looking for pity by exposing their weaknesses to others. Do not let them begin to hear the news of the break up from others before they hear it from you. Give them the honour of finding out from you first. Not from your friends or siblings or parents. This is another way to end a relationship peacefully
9) Let them know that you have nothing against them:
In case it was their fault, ensure that you sincerely forgive them. Yes, it may not be easy but you will be helping them also to find peace with themselves. You can ask God for help to help you forgive them genuinely from the bottom of your heart. That way you will be ending the relationship peacefully.
10) Don’t bear grudge or keep malice:
To end a relationship peacefully ensure that you do not bear grudge or keep malice. Let it go. Forgive and forget and you will be better for it. Not keeping malice or bearing grudge helps you move on faster and better to more glorious things. Laugh with them when you see them. Greet them. Help them when they come to you for help. Don’t damn them.
When we end a relationship peacefully we also have peace with God and ourselves. Therefore we must ensure that no matter the reason for the break up we should allow God help us through each process of letting go. We must seek God for the wisdom, patience, maturity to speak, act, heal and respectfully address the issues without causing more damage.
Not all relationships will end in marriage. Therefore we must not be hard on ourselves or the other person when a relationship ends. We must accept that God has beautiful plans for us and He will make all things work together perfectly for our good. We must therefore let go of the former and give room to the new.