How To Overcome Betrayal In A Relationship.
Betrayal is an act of deliberate disloyalty to someone or towards something. Betrayal is inevitable in a relationship if one falls into a wrong relationship from the beginning, but overcoming the betrayal and moving on is what matters most. Trust can be betrayed, when trust is betrayed there is nothing left in the relationship, love can be betrayed, in a situation where one party does not genuinely love the other, the relationship is doomed, because where there is no love betrayal will be the order of the relationship. The bible says in Proverbs 24: 16” For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamities strike. It does not matter how bad you are feeling that you are a victim of betrayal, what matters most is to cut out the old mentality of betrayal and start afresh so that you can enjoy life to the fullest. One must defeat insecurity and fear of falling into such again.
Therefore, in our topic today we will be looking at some steps one can take to overcome betrayal in a relationship.
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- RECEIVE GOD’S EVERLASTING LOVE: Knowing God alone brings everlasting joy to one even in the midst of the heart breaks. The only relationship that never betrays is the relationship with God. Most times betraying one another in a relationship is inevitable if one or the two parties does not have the fear of God. In order to overcome going into depression or losing one’s mental wellbeing because of being betrayed one needs to surrender one’s totality to God and embrace God’s everlasting love which brings joy. You must see that even right in the storm that God is with you, and He can never leave you, that He feels what you are feeling at the moment and He is the only one that can heal you totally. When you accept the reality of God’s love for you, you will no longer feel pained nor hurt all around you and within you will be His joy unspeakable. It has been said that you cannot give what you don’t have, it is only when you receive God’s everlasting joy that you can begin to give love, which is the greatest step to healing and overcoming betrayal. Embracing God’s love destroys the fear of emotional pain.
- FORGIVE: Forgiveness is majorly for you. You don’t forgive because of the person that betrayed you. You forgive, for your healing process to begin and also you forgive so that God can forgive and answer your prayers too. Forgiveness takes you out of the victim’s mood. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, it only means an act of deliberate and conscious decision to let go of feelings of resentment towards the person that betrayed you. Forgiveness takes a process because healing takes process too, but one must be deliberate about forgiving the person that betrayed one, it can be hard to forgive though, but we must ask the Holy spirit to help us to let go and be freed from holding back the person in our hearts. If we don’t forgive, it will affect our sense of judgment to anyone that may come our way, which will also affect our way of life and success in life too.
Forgiveness leads to anger, and we all know that anger only destroys good things, forget those who don’t value you, life is too short to be spending it on people who don’t value you. We cannot hold grudges against one another and expect God to hear us, the bible says” in Matthew 6:14 that” If ye forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Let God judge the situation, forgive but don’t forget so that you will not fall into the same mistake or repeat the same error again.
- SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP: Staying alone can make one go into depression, especially when one is going through hurts or heart breaks, seek professional help or a trusted fellow that can encourage you if you notice you cannot heal all by yourself. It is necessary to speak out, never stay alone if you feel overwhelmed by the feelings of being betrayed. Don’t wallow in self-pity, don’t form the habit of sweeping things under the carpet, no matter how small it is, if you feel betrayed, speak up so that your healing can be fast. Many people often feel like telling someone or seeking professional help makes matter worse, but that is not true, seek the right counsel, note that the bible says in Proverbs 13:20 that “He who walks with the wise shall be wise, but the companion of fools shall be destroyed. Talking to the wrong set of people will only make the situation worse, they can even give advice on revenge which is against the words of God because God already said “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” Deuteronomy 32:35a. Seeking help is another step to take to overcome betrayal, so seek help if you can’t handle the healing process on your own.
- FIND YOUR PASSION: Find what makes you happy, get busy, improve your life and pursue your passion, by doing so you are on your way to overcoming the hurts. Don’t put your life on hold because of your past failures, being betrayed can make one withdraw from people and start being moody, on the other hand don’t live to impress anyone, those who live to impress people get depressed, find what gives you joy. The truth is no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, brace up and move on, upgrade yourself, speak words of encouragement to yourself, don’t be afraid to celebrate the little wins you achieve as the days go by. Time heals but what you do with the time is what matters the most. When you get busy with what makes you happy, the hurts of being betrayed will start leaving you gradually.
BE OPENED MINDED TOWARDS NEW RELATIONSHIP: In order to overcome the past hurt you must be open minded towards the new relationship, don’t harden your mind, and don’t also live in self-pity, you have to be flexible but make sure you have peace of mind towards the new relationship. Sometimes we need to go through some hurts and pain so as to learn one or two things. Never ignore the signs that are not good so as not to fall prey to being betrayed again. We all have the power to control how we feel daily, so in other to overcome the past betrayal, don’t be quick to judge anyone that comes your way, don’t see anyone coming your way as ‘this one will come and betray me again” be free, stay happy, and stay alive enjoy new relationship but be wise to know the signs of a bad relationship, know your limit, know what you value, know your worth and know when someone is trying to show you otherwise. God of peace will give you peace that surpasses human understanding.